Baby Veil due February!

Ryan and I are so excited to tell everyone that we are expecting. Baby Veil is due February 8th!! I know it's been a long time since we've posted a blog so we wanted to fill everyone in on what's been going on for us. 2016 has been a roller coaster ride and we apologize to everyone who's been asking us about adoption stuff. We've been vague in our answers because we weren't ready to tell our story until now. 

3.5 years ago we started the journey of beginning our family. We had always talked about adoption being part of our story and when we weren't getting pregnant, we decided, lets start the adoption process. So about 2.5 years ago we started all the paperwork, home study, and did a couple really successful fundraisers. We just want to say another a huge thank you for everyone's help & support to make those possible! We still look back on that and are truly grateful!

About 2 years ago (June 2014) we entered "the pool" of waiting parents. Basically meaning a baby could come at anytime. To be honest, we were naive or maybe overly hopeful because we didn't think it would take so long. A year and a half in and not hearing anything was hard and humbling. We know God has a plan for us, but it was definitely hard to see.

In January of this year, everything changed when we found out I was pregnant. Words can't describe how excited we were. We were starting to wonder whether we could even have kids. God answered our prayer!! We told close friends and immediate family and everything was perfect! Due to timeline and logistics of our adoption agency, we decided in February to put a temporary freeze on the adoption.

A stepping stone we made to remember

At the 9 week appointment we got the news that baby stopped growing. It came as a complete shock and was the worst news to receive. You never think something like this is going to happen to you. It was a dark time and we questioned whether a family was in our future after hearing nothing in the adoption and having a miscarriage. It was hard to wrap our heads around what just happened.

We questioned why God would do this or let this happen especially after all this time of waiting or trying. And honestly sometimes I still wonder. But we know that God is good and Jesus came to die for us. Not only did that open the door for us to go to heaven, but it also opened the door for our baby to go to heaven and one day we will get to meet him or her. Now that is good news!

Dear Lord, I would have loved to have 

held my babies on my lap and tell them about you,

but since I didn't get the chance,

would you please hold them on your lap 

and tell them about me? 

 

As we processed and grieved, it was nice to be on a break from the adoption so we could heal from the loss of our baby.

In June (2016) we decided we were ready to continue with the adoption plans. Updated paperwork had been started and new pictures were taken to update our profile. What we didn't know at the time was that I was pregnant! The picture below is actually of the 5 of us!! We found out about a week after we got the pictures taken.

Baby Veil!! 

So at this time, some people didn't know we took a freeze on the adoption, some people thought we were going back into the adoption process and some people knew we were expecting. Talk about confusing!

We ultimately decided to keep the freeze on the adoption as we are preparing for this pregnancy and baby. We wanted to let family, friends and supporters know that we still plan on adopting and will be returning to the adoption pool later this year. Money we have raised is still set aside for adoption costs. We are so grateful for all of you and your support with the adoption, miscarriage and pregnancy. Our journey is not over and we are excited to see Gods plan for us. Please pray for us, for baby Veil and our future adoption.

Love you all,
Allie, Ryan & baby Veil :)